AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

It. Never. Freaking. FAILS.

Here I am, another week to go on my Christmas vacation, and things are finally starting to work out. The gold and silver did beautifully in the kiln, finally finished all of those ceramic thingies. I have to help butcher the 2nd deer hanging in th garage - even yesterday with the temps at 40, it was frozen solid. Got a letter from Joe Wilson, saying he is working on the project I asked him to and he will let me know the minute he hears something. It's good to have friends.

I wake up this morning and I have another. FREAKING. kidney infection.

With my SLE (systemic lupus) I have grown to expect these. If it isn't what's left of my colon freaking out, my kidneys are in revolt. I can't drink too much pepsi or even eggnog or cider, even unpolluted with liquor, because my kidneys go nutz. As long as I stick to water, tea, and coffee I'm ok, but you know I love the holidays... sigh.

The meds I take taste terrible. You'd think they could put something that horrific in a gelcap, but noooooooo. They make my whole mouth taste like I just licked clean a metal kitty litter box. Plus they make me sick to my stomach, so even though I am supposed to drink lots of water with them, just the thought turns my stomach. Arrrrggghhh.

So much to do and so much I want to do and my stupid body cannot keep up with me. Stupid body.

Winter Picnic

Well, we went for a picnic today. I know that sounds kind of nuts, it being 30 degrees and all. But we made ham sanwiches and took the cheese, crackers and salami, and some chocolates, put the dogs' sleeping bag in the back of the car, and went down to Merritt Dam. Since snow was predicted for this afternoon and tonight, we wanted to go while it was clear and pretty.

I posted some pics a long time ago from Merritt Dam, with the water rushing down the blowhole, and the dammed river behind it. Today, though, it was frozen at the blowhole... and all across the river. What looks at first glance like waves are where snow has drifted into the frozen 'waves'.


Below the two-lane road, you can see where the falls have frozen in place. Further down the hill, the water is still running at the base of the dam; still a pretty good undercurrent. But up on top it is frozen solid!

We took the dogs out for a long walk, and they tracked deer and startled a grouse in the high weeds. There were rabbit, turkey, and raccoon tracks too. The dogs were very pleased. Sasha loves to run with the wind in her face anyway, and that wind blowing across the ice was a good 20 degrees colder than back at the house! When Sasha couldn't get a good sniff at the tracks, she would shovel her nose under the snow to sniff at the dirt beneath, throwing the snow up high an spraying everyone with snow! She was having so much fun!

Then we went down to the riverside for our picnic. These pictures are from the opposite shore from the dam...


The sky is really that blue, and the river reflecting the sky from that angle looks like water with waves on it. It isn't until you step closer that you see the lines of the frozen surface, and realize that it is frozen. We had our little picnic here, with the dogs dancing for the ham we brought for them.

Then we took the back roads back home again. They are very narrow and sand-covered, but pretty clear even after all of the below-zero temperatures, blowing snow, sleet, and ice of the past month. We crossed over the Niobrara again, and in a lovely valley I took these shots of the smaller but still beautiful river...



The snow clouds were starting to gather, and puffing up all big and full of portent. The wind continued to pick up as we drove home, and by the time we got here was up to 25 mph, a good steady wind. "I don't know if there'll be snow" but it was breathtakingly beautiful out on the ice today!

My First Christmas

Like most Christmases, ths one has been a rush of hurry-up; stuff not working right before it goes into the kiln, taking forever to mold up, not doing what it is supposed to IN the kiln... and money shortages and time shortages. Sigh. One thing you can't rush through is firing clay. Another thing I haven't had time for is the baking I love to do. All week off work, and other things just kept intruding...

Our first Christmas here is beautiful. There has been snow on the ground all week, like thin frosting on a cake. Today though it is 34 degrees, and everything is melting! The Ruggles' kids are all back in town; and one of them got a sled for Christmas. That hill behind their house still has a glaze of snow, and they are sledding down it! How cool is that. Gunshots over by the range; I wonder if someone is getting deer or turkey or just having fun. The sun reflecting off of the snow is so bright, glowing, and fresh looking. It still looks like a picture postcard from the '50's here; so calm and happy, brilliant and peaceful, shiny and new like a Christmas toy.

So why am I so introspective, today of all days?

I do miss my friends and Tammy. Lots. Wish I could just bundle them all up and bring them here. Tammy is going 15 different directions; new boyfriend, wants to move, can't move, doesn't have a job where she wanta to be, is getting treated like crap -as usual -in her job back there. people taking advantage of her, wanting to get away, feeling trapped. This is what I want, and where I want to be, and I have good friends here, but Christmas they are all very family-oriented so no one drops by.

There's plenty of food like always, and the cider and eggnog are hot and cold respectively. Everything is set just like it always is, table groaning with the snackages.

But I miss my friends. I knew I would. I knew I made a definite choice, it's not like it's a surprise. And I miss them not just today but all the time - knowing that my dreams are not theirs, knowing that we'll probably drift apart, knowing that we'll probably never see each other again. It's hard to think about that even though I knew it two years ago, ten years ago. I've moved 10 times before, and it always hurts. I am happy and sad - I am happy and want to share it with them like I always have, and they can't even imagine what it is like, and are busy doing what we all used to do. I want to show them the things I see, let them feel what I feel, and learn what I learn, but they can't. I think that is what makes me sad... that I can't share this happiness with them.

Tomorrow it is supposed to snow again. I think I'll try to go driving before it snows, look at the river, walk next to the lake, and enjoy the stark and living beauty of the place. And wish I could be with my friends and show it all to them!

A Merry Christmas To My Friends

I do love Smilebox. They have come up with so many awesome designs lately. I hope you, my friends, enjoy the pictures and the wishes for a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Hit "play" at the bottom of the screen to cycle through, and slow it down with the button at the bottom left.
Merry Christmas!

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